right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
