I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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