I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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