she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
