So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
