I just made out with a guy for $7.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
