O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
