I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
