Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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