I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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