while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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