honey bunches of taint.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
