thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
