someone threw a dead crab at me
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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