you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
