Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
