i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
