hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
