I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
