im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
