Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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