Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
