yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
