I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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