this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
