i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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