I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
