Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
