I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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