Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I stole a fireplace last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Randomize
