I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
