Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
