is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Blood and glitter go together right?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
