You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
