I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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