He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
