porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize