Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
