The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I am puke
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
