fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
