I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Two words: nipple clamps
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