goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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