I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
