dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
