imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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