my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
