Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
