im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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