i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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