Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
