Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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