I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize