I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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