what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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