Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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