we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
