he thought i was a dude.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
