the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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