I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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