Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
