butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
