If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
