Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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