He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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